Shit I Have To Put Up With: Craigslist Scammers

"Jay Lauer" (thefaultinourcars) 12/11/2014 at 21:14 • Filed to: None

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Normally in these posts, I try to hide the phone numbers so as to give the offender the dignity of his/her privacy, but I think the culprits in this post deserve no such justice.

For those of you who have used Craigslist before, this may look familiar to you. The pitch is always the same

I agree on the price

I won't be looking at the car

I'm buying it for my _______

I'm out of the country because ________

I'll be paying through PayPal

GIVE ME YOUR GODDAMN PAYPAL ACCOUNT.

Over the years, I've become accustomed to this sort of thing every once in a while. But as someone who's now selling multiple vehicles at any given time, it gets old. So I thought I'd give you a taste of some of the texts a get on a given basis.

So, I bought my iPhone 6 at about the beginning of October. What you see presented here is what I've accumulated over the past two months. I really wish my old iPhone still worked. I could've made this post stretch out into next week.

Craigslist scammers don't discriminate. They've tried their schemes on the !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , the !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , the !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , and the !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . And they sure as shit tried it on the GTO, the 944, every Subaru and every other vehicle that preceded it.

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I'd really like to meet the person who was legitimately duped by one of these schemes. That's probably who the Chevrolet Aveo's target audience was.

For more in my Shit I Have To Put Up With series,

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McChiken116 - Patrick H. > Jay Lauer 12/11/2014 at 21:20

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Craigslist. Never a more foul hive of scum and villainy

Jay Lauer > McChiken116 - Patrick H. 12/11/2014 at 21:27

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And profit.

03mach1 - Now has a Fiesta ST > Jay Lauer 12/11/2014 at 21:29

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You just can't catch a break! I'm really surprised you haven't sold it yet. It's a nice S2000 for a good price.

Jay Lauer > 03mach1 - Now has a Fiesta ST 12/11/2014 at 21:35

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It really is the unsellable car.

Getting closer to winter has really hindered it. And I was probably a bit too stubborn on price in the summer months. But moreso, it's a poser's/asshole's car, meaning everyone that wants it is a broke scummy prick.

03mach1 - Now has a Fiesta ST > Jay Lauer 12/11/2014 at 21:39

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I'm sure winter isn't helping (Don't have this problem here!). And that last sentence is probably true. But I would still drive one, they look like fun to drive.

Good luck selling the unsellable car. You've had this car for sale for quite awhile now haven't you?

Aaron James > Jay Lauer 12/11/2014 at 21:39

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What's the end game here? just to get your PayPal address so they can try and hack it or.....

Jay Lauer > Aaron James 12/11/2014 at 21:40

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I'm guessing through hacking your PayPal they can access your linked bank account and steal your money.

Brian Silvestro > Jay Lauer 12/11/2014 at 21:40

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jesus, this ongoing series is endlessly entertaining

and severely lacking of STi

Jay Lauer > Brian Silvestro 12/11/2014 at 21:45

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My life is severely lacking of STI.

Oh, this series will never die. I've already got another list of trade offers to post. Even though I wrote 'Only interested in trading for WRX, STI or Evo.'

TRADE OFFERS. PART DEUX.

Brian Silvestro > Jay Lauer 12/11/2014 at 21:47

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AWWW YISSS here we go

I assume when people see "will trade" they just ignore everything else and yell "HURR D DURR WANNA TRADE FER MA TRUCK "

jkm7680 > Jay Lauer 12/11/2014 at 21:47

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Jeez, I'm sure people who try to scam people on Craiglist have better things to do with their constant unemployment and lack of intelligence.

Jay Lauer > Brian Silvestro 12/11/2014 at 21:51

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or my Altima.

or my 3000gt and and amp.

Lol at people.

Brian Silvestro > Jay Lauer 12/11/2014 at 21:53

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The internet really enlightens me to the fact that most people are fucking retarded.

Jay Lauer > jkm7680 12/11/2014 at 21:53

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I've always assumed it was like one of those customer support places in India, with a room full of people and shitty cell phones texting this stuff.

There's no way that a native English speaker is writing this shit. There's grammatical errors everywhere.

Jay Lauer > Brian Silvestro 12/11/2014 at 21:57

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I probably should've thought more about the target audience going into this S2000. It's suffers the same problem as STIs and Evos: Shitty owners.

I need to buy more nice people cars.

Brian Silvestro > Jay Lauer 12/11/2014 at 21:58

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*cough*

Fiesta ST

*cough*

You're looked down upon if you don't AutoX your car. Every owner I've met (3 guys so far!) is older than 30 years old and it's their weekend car. Isn't that crazy??

The Real Dacia Sandero > Jay Lauer 12/11/2014 at 22:01

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I buy and sell lots of various music gear. In the ad I'll say, "only interested in x for a trade" or "no trades". First message will be "Hi would you be interested in trading for y?"

What I say:

Sorry, the only thing that I am looking to trade for is x.

What I want to say:

NO! (redacted) you, you stupid piece of (redacted). If I wanted to trade for the (redacted) horrible piece of (redacted) you were offering I wouldn't have said that I was only interested in x. (redacted) you worthless (redacted) (redacted) (redacted)...

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > Jay Lauer 12/11/2014 at 22:11

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these posts made my night haha

Sn210 > Jay Lauer 12/11/2014 at 22:20

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It's amazing they can do that but can't get their text bots to write coherent sentences

Brickman > Jay Lauer 12/11/2014 at 22:21

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You are asking $11k for a S2000? If I had the money I'd give it to you if there arent any major problems. Seriously too.

Jay Lauer > Brian Silvestro 12/11/2014 at 22:26

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I still REALLY want to drive one of those.

Didn't BatteryTender buy one as a daily? Granted, he's not the normal car guy.

I'm curious to see what it's like. So far, if I were to spend $20k on a car, I'd probably buy an 08+ STi over the FiST. No offense to you; I haven't driven one.

The wheels were so on point that year.

Jay Lauer > Brickman 12/11/2014 at 22:28

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$10.5k now actually.

It's in great condition. The ad is linked up there I believe. It's just sits in that garage all day now. I've never even had a Check Engine light on the thing. It's rock solid.

Here's the ad: http://wichita.craigslist.org/cto/4764996836…

Jay Lauer > Sn210 12/11/2014 at 22:29

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Most Americans can't write coherent sentences.

Jay Lauer > The Real Dacia Sandero 12/11/2014 at 22:30

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What type of music gear is sold/offered for trade?

I'm a musician too.

Brian Silvestro > Jay Lauer 12/11/2014 at 22:35

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Yes, and he loves it a lot. I've never driven a WRX, so I have no basis for argument here. But it truly is just amazing fun.

Jay Lauer > Brian Silvestro 12/11/2014 at 23:15

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Shit, we're at odds here. If you could upload you're Fiesta ST feels into a .doc, and I'll upload my WRX feels.

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > Jay Lauer 12/11/2014 at 23:16

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I'd give my right kidney for that corvette.....I'll throw in a coleman freezer box with it as well in the deal.

Brian Silvestro > Jay Lauer 12/11/2014 at 23:16

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*plugs USB drive into face*

Jay Lauer > Brian Silvestro 12/11/2014 at 23:20

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On it.

Brian Silvestro > Jay Lauer 12/11/2014 at 23:21

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shockingly accurate

The Real Dacia Sandero > Jay Lauer 12/12/2014 at 00:19

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I play guitar and I'm always buying and selling crap on thegearpage.net. If you play guitar, stay far, far away from that site. You will begin appropriating car parts money towards music gear you don't need. Ask me how I know...

Jay Lauer > The Real Dacia Sandero 12/12/2014 at 00:21

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Luckily, being a lefty keeps me from buying 90% of guitars, but I'm happy with my Martin. Recording equipment is way more expensive. Same with good cymbals for my drum set. You can tie $1k up so easily in cymbals.

JKER > Jay Lauer 12/12/2014 at 00:23

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Just thought I'd point out "spent a lot of time with it and know basically every inch" Sorry, shit bugs me haha

Also, that garage is fucking beautiful.

Jay Lauer > JKER 12/12/2014 at 00:25

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Shit, yeah I've had that pointed out before. Trust me, I know hows to make sentences good.

JKER > Jay Lauer 12/12/2014 at 00:28

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I know, it's a great ad I just felt like I had to point it out for some weird reason.

I am also a fluent Englisher.

revrseat70 > Jay Lauer 12/12/2014 at 00:57

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I always get "oceanographer" or "marine biologist". It was fun to see the other ones they come up with

Axial > Jay Lauer 12/12/2014 at 01:01

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More likely they pick up the car, then yoink the money on some technicality because PayPal holds large sums like that for a bit, which makes it vulnerable.

Sam > Jay Lauer 12/12/2014 at 07:12

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I actually paid for my 924 with PayPal. Of course, it was whilst I was standing with the guy and the car. Since it was spur of the moment on a Sunday, it was the only way to do it.

CaptDale - is secretly British > Jay Lauer 12/12/2014 at 12:39

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I hate that... Had issues with selling my Fiero... seriously? Scam for a Fiero?

PS9 > Brian Silvestro 12/16/2014 at 21:37

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Craigslist is a proliferator of STIs.

And serial killers. Them too.

Brian Silvestro > PS9 12/16/2014 at 21:47

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I have yet to find an STi that hasn't been modified with a "built" motor and distastefully styled.

PS9 > Brian Silvestro 12/16/2014 at 21:49

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What? Built motor...?

OOOOHHHHH. Yeah, that kind of STI can be found on there too.

ssm-one > Jay Lauer 01/14/2015 at 00:20

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Just went through all of these... Great read. We have Kijiji here in the great white north, the Canuck Craigslist. My best yet:

I was once offered a flat screen TV and an XBox360 slim for my Volvo wagon.

I was offered a really nice KTM quad for my really nice 5.0LX notch.

Someone wanted my 560SEL for half the price - they didn't need the motor, I could keep it.

I was offered a 347ci SBF for my diesel BJ42 Landcruiser.

And a litter of puppies for my 74 Mini.